Yesterday morning I thought I had nothing to worry about. I woke up, grabbed my gear and got into the car ready to run my final marathon for Zachary and everyone who has supported 10 Races for 10 Years.
I arrived at the Start juuuuuust before the race began. The rain and wind made travel a little slow.
I put on a long sleeve shirt over my tank top and went to the start. The gun fired and we were off. I felt great. The first 6.5 miles there was a tail wind at my back and I was averaging just what I wanted, about a 7:40 min/mile…maybe a little faster. I felt so good I took off my long sleeve shirt and ran in just my tank and shorts.
We turned around at that point and headed back in the direction we came from and the headwind hit me like a ton of bricks. I was the first female runner and wanted to keep my lead…just as I did the last marathon I ran in November. So, I pushed through the headwind, and the pouring rain, but started to get cold. After 10 miles, my hands started to numb and I began to tense. Getting to the half-point, a woman shouted to me "you're my first female marathon runner!". That was a fun support. I thought, I can push through the cold! I am on pace to finish the same time I finished my last race, I got this!
After 13 miles though, I lost feeling in my hands and by the time I reached 14 I found it hard to take in a breath. I also felt a sharp pain under my knee that I've never felt before. So at 14 1/2, I ran off the course and stopped. Not wanting to scare anyone (and to be alone in my defeat) I ran a back road back to the school where we started. The 1 1/2 miles distance I could normally run in my sleep was agony. I was freezing and I wasn't going fast enough to keep my heart rate up and keep myself warm. Not to mention the feeling I had of letting everyone down who have supported me, of letting Zachary and his family down. I was stronger than this.
I got in the car and felt defeated. I've run 14 marathons and have finished all 14. I looked in the mirror and my lips were totally purple. Looked down at my purple hands and couldn't believe that it ended like it did.
Once I got home, though, I changed into dry clothes, and thought, this is not over. I have to finish what I started. Fortunately Carter had a birthday party at the Lifetime Gym, I had to pick him up at the end. I drove to the gym and jumped on the treadmill. After running a mile, the pain below my knee was unbearable. I was so upset. I stretched it and rolled it for half an hour, went back on, and started again at a slow pace. I ran for an hour…still falling short, but running about 6 miles, but it was all the pain and fatigue from that morning would allow me, given that I still had a full day of events ahead of me.
So, in total, I ran 23 miles for Zachary yesterday. Each one of those miles brought something new to it. My Dad, who's birthday was yesterday, told me that the reason we are here is to learn. I've learned so many times when to keep pushing, to not give up. I learned today, when it's time to stop. The next lesson I will learn is how to go from all the wonderful things that have happened to me and my running this year, to what happened yesterday, and then getting back to the feeling of VICTORY. I started my first of these five marathons in June and I will have another race, a half Ironman, in June this year. I want this to be my final race for Zachary, to end MY part of this adventure on a high note.
We will hold a family/friends/community 5K this Sunday at 4 and I look forward to seeing you all there. I consider this event to ALSO be a victory. Everyone coming together in honor of Zachary and his family, in support of Child Abuse Awareness Month, and to raise money for Marley's Mission.
Thank you for everyone who has been a part of this year. You have made all of this worthwhile and I wouldn't change it for the world. Stay tuned!
